The Woes of Being an Introvert

Her flaming red hair cascaded down her back
her teal eyes seemed kind and accepting enough
I was determined to be her friend.

I pictured us gushing over our mutual love for Harry Potter
(the one thing I knew we had in common).
I began the mental countdown.
You’ll talk to her in 10… 9…
I began to think,
8… 7…
taking a step forward.
Her head was turned away from me.
I would tap her on the shoulder,
and introduce myself.
6… 5…
Just another step forward,
I extended my arm
4… 3…
She turned to the girl next to her,
began chatting, and walked off
in the other directin.

I sinking feeling overtook me.
2… 3…
I thought to myself as I brewed in my stew
of self pity
Why didn’t you talk to her earlier?
Why do you have to do that stupid countdown?
Why couldn’t you just act natural
like a normal person?

I self consciously tucked bits of my dark hair
behind my ears.
I turned around to face social, normal people
swarming around me.
My back hunched over
and it was as if my shoulders
were being magnetically pulled together.
My mouth was dry, but
I managed to swallow
my possible friendship down.